Resume Writer’s Block

Despite an abundance of ‘blogs in progress,’ I recently experienced a bad case of writer’s block. Let me explain.

Everyone in our office is being downsizedright sizedrestructuredlaid off.

I thought I could retire. But my financial advisor shook her head, gave me an encouraging pat on the back, and suggested I update my resume.

And now I have resume writer’s block.

library books 2

Photo taken at Bangor Public Library by author, edits via PicMonkey

My soon to be ex-employer has been kind enough to offer some job transition training, and I’m shocked at the progress resume writing has made over the years. Who knew you practically need a master’s degree to properly summarize your experience and qualifications? And apparently writing the cover letter requires a certificate of advanced study.

I updated my resume six years ago when I hustled my current job, which I declared would be my last. I located the outdated document on a dusty thumb drive. I wanted to give it the finger.

Sensing a mountain of resistance, I decided that today was the day for me to squeeze my assets onto a single page, using action words and a clean format.

I left work early so I could have quiet time to analyze my motivators, core talents, and aptitudes. Once I’d done this, I knew the words would flow, and I would compile a masterpiece that could attract a dream job.

I started to drive home, but realized it was almost Halloween, and we didn’t have costumes. They didn’t have much at Target™, but I made a killing at the Halloween store.

Feeling a hunger pang, I called Patrick, and we shared a bacon club sandwich at Harvest Moon Deli.™ I can’t concentrate when I’m famished.

After lunch, thoughts of financial uncertainty prompted a trip to the library to borrow books instead of buying them. I meandered through the stacks from humor to history.

There were so many books I wanted, but I feared I’d pay more in library fines than I’d save, so I settled on only two. While checking out, I learned that the library would be closed for several weeks for renovations, creating liberal due dates. So I trudged back into the stacks, and wobbled out under the weight of a dozen books.

The first one on my reading list is “The Secret.” Since I haven’t updated my resume, I’ll be depending on a positive attitude and the laws of attraction for my future wealth.

Here are a few other titles I’ll be diving into:

  • 101 Things to Do With Ramen Noodles
  • How to Cut and Color Your Own Hair
  • Home Remedies and Natural Cures for the Uninsured
  • Wine Making for Dummies
  • Cheapskate Living and Loving It
  • The Unemployment Survival Guide
  • Nature’s Garden: A Guide to Identifying, Harvesting and Preparing Edible Wild Food
  • The Joy of Not Working

I’m feeling pretty confident with my arsenal of books, and the luxury of time to read them.

Have you faced an unexpected job loss? How did you manage to write your resume? Would you be willing to write mine for a wild mushroom ramen noodle casserole, and a bottle of homemade wine?

Molly Stevens

About Molly Stevens

Molly Stevens arrived late to the writing desk but is forever grateful her second act took this direction instead of adult tricycle racing or hoarding cats. She was raised on a potato farm in northern Maine, where she wore a snowsuit over both her Halloween costume and her Easter dress.